Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
