i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
