One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
