She announced her abortion via fbk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
