I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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