Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
