in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
