it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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