Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
