can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
