In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
