i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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