I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Vodka?
Forever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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