Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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