you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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