Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
