i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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