I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
