And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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