I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
