I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize