u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
