Do you still have your period?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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