Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
