she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
