There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
