He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
