Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
