Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize