checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
