He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
