I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize