I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
