I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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