I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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