Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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