Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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