Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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