In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
