so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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