Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A+ Viking dick
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
