Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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