i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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