Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
