i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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