I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
