I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
