Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
