I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
