You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pants 0. Shit 1.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
