Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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