I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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