think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
