Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize