I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
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Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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