he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
