4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
