Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
