the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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