There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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