I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
