Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
